How do I endear prayer to my children while raising them in the West?
A question that carries within its folds a father’s protective love for the very piece of his heart, and it is among the most beneficial of things to ask about; for planting prayer in the heart of a child within an environment that competes with him for his time and his heart is among the heaviest burdens upon the one who nurtures. The Prophetic guidance in this rests upon gradualness and gentleness, not upon coercion and harshness. He ﷺ said: "Command your children to pray when they are seven, and discipline them for it when they are ten, and separate them in their beds" (narrated by Abū Dāwūd; a sound [ḥasan] hadith). So he placed three full years between the command and the disciplining; nurturing and familiarizing before holding to account.
The first thing to be advised is: the good example. The child reads your deeds before your words; so when he sees you rise to prayer joyful and glad, not grumbling and burdened, it is imprinted in his soul that prayer is a beloved meeting and not a heavy obligation. Let the household gather for it as much as possible, for the prayer in the family’s congregation has an effect that surpasses a thousand exhortations.
Second: tie prayer to joy, not to punishment. Praise your child when he prays, rejoice at his first prostration, and give it a special atmosphere in the home; a small prayer space, or a prayer mat he chooses for himself. And do not make prayer an arena of daily strife on account of which the child comes to hate it.
Third: gradualness and regard for capacity. Do not burden the little one beyond his ability all at once, but begin with what he can bear, and add little by little. Seize the moments when his heart is clear, and tell him of the delight of intimate converse and the sweetness of nearness, not only of punishment and the Fire.
Fourth: fortify the environment and fill the void. The child in the West is surrounded by influences that pull at his heart; so make your home an environment that nurtures faith: righteous company, a mosque he feels at home in, and activities that bind him to his religion and his identity, so that he finds nothing else with which to fill his emptiness.
And finally — and this is the most important — supplication. For hearts are in the Hand of God, who turns them however He wills, and the guidance of your child is not in your hand; you are only one who strives and conveys. So implore God to make your offspring among those who establish prayer, just as the Friend of God [Ibrāhīm], peace be upon him, supplicated: "My Lord, make me an establisher of prayer, and from my offspring" [Ibrāhīm: 40]. So between your sincere striving and your earnest supplication, God grants what will be the delight of your eye.